A year of two halves
At the start of this year, if anyone had told me I’d be giving a talk to a room full of people, I would have run away as fast as my legs could carry me. Adrenaline aside, I’d be quaking in my boots and hiding under the nearest piece of furniture. Approaching people and speaking to them about Tawny Owl Wood hadn’t crossed my mind before we launched the series. It is safe to say that the thought of public speaking makes me incredibly anxious, despite the fact that I have to do it in my day job. It wasn’t until our first craft/book fair that I realised just how important it was for me to engage with people to get them invested in the concept.
During the first month of attending fairs, I inadvertently made myself quite ill. My anxiety plagued me, and the more I stressed about not being able to speak to anyone and sell books, the worse it got. I was trapped in a never-ending cycle of fear and disappointment. The end result was always the same: we didn’t sell many books, and I ended up bedbound, disappointed, angry, and kicking myself. The stress of expectation was at an all-time high and I didn’t know how to cope. It didn’t take long to realise that I was the only one who could change this.
Something had to change.
Enter the timely arrival of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which I had been waiting for over a year, for a completely different reason. It’s turned out that I didn’t need it for the first reason, in it’s entirely after all, but, the two very different situations crossed paths many times. So, I needed to stripe everything back and see where it all started. Three sessions in, I realised I had been living a contradictory life—wanting to do things my way but still adhering to someone else’s expectations of who I should be. This is often the case when you’ve had a traumatic childhood.
The timing of CBT couldn’t have been more perfect. With every session, I felt more and more empowered to take control of my life. Six sessions in, I was done. I was finished living by someone else’s rules. I was done living half in the shadows and half in the light. I finally had the courage to embrace my true self. I was ready to carve my own path and stand on my own two feet. I accepted that I have had a bumpy past, but it does not define me. I am ready for this next phase of my life and all the new challenges that come with it.
After returning from a family holiday, I was put to the test. Despite my newfound confidence, I was still nervous about my upcoming talk. I had been booked to give a talk to a lovely local community group in Shipley, West Sussex.
But it was a fantastic opportunity to promote Tawny Owl Wood and connect with like-minded individuals.
It wasn’t a long talk—just enough to explain who I was and how Tawny Owl Wood came to life. Despite struggling with a migraine that morning and the added stress of having a microphone placed on me, I wasn’t too fazed—well, only a little bit—but I did it. I was pleased with how it all turned out, and that is the only thing that matters.
I’ve come a long way since those first few craft fairs, and I’m excited to see what comes next.
So, going back to giving a talk to a room full of people—bring it on!
Using my day job and our family’s and Sarah-Leigh’s passion for nature, I have created an interactive talk designed for primary school-age children.
Our interactive talk is a way to inspire the next generation and give back to the community.
Our goal is to convey our passion for nature and inspire the next generation of budding stewards to help theirs and future generation in protecting and preserving everything nature.
For us, it’s about highlighting the importance of preserving our natural world.
From September 24, I will be available to give a talk all about Nature Recovery and I couldn’t be more excited about it. If you would like to book a talk please go to here for a booking form.
It may only be July, but this year really will be a year of two halves. All in all, I’m grateful for the opportunities that have come my way, and I know that I’ll continue to grow and learn from them.